The Real Mystery is What. The. F Did I Just Read??????

— feeling hypnotized
Mystery Man - Kristen Ashley
I had a TON of problems with this book. The first? Babe. Boundaries. Babe, seriously. You investigate her, have cameras on her house, and require daily reports on your fuck buddy and it's supposed to be ROMANTIC? I mean, I understand that the opposite, sleeping with a dude who you know nothing about, not even his name, who breaks into your home at nights for a year and a half is also TOTALLY INSANE. But I can't stand stalkerish behavior passed off as "I care about you, babe, I really do".
Also the heroine frequently says she should put her foot down or break it off with this psycho dude but never follows through. This woman needs to find Tori Amos, and fast. Girl, she wrote a lyric just for you. "So you can make me come that doesn't make you Jesus." Learn it, live it, love yourself you crazy lady.
Also how is every man she meets so freaking hot and also so very into her? That's beyond even my powers of suspension of disbelief, and I frequently read books about magic and shapeshifters and vampires, so. . . Yeah.
All that said? There was something that kept me in this whole big pot of WTF until the end. I mean, everything that turned me off? Pushy, asshole hero. Doormat, TSTL heroine. Overuse of pet names and sometimes downright confusing prose. All of these cons and I still read the whole mess. I don't know if it was the trainwreck factor or if the over the top story just sucked me in, but I have to give credit where credit is due. There is something compellingly readable about this book. So. I"m just kind of throwing my hands in the air here and giving it a 3 star rating despite everything that bugged the ever loving crap out of me in this book. More like 2.5. But I think I'm done with Ms. Ashley because no matter how readable the book the entire thing was bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S and not in a good way.